Adventures of Catbaby

Season 1 • Episode 2 • The Trip

Waking up from a delicious, warm bottle of milk-induced stupor—I see my parents scurrying around throwing stuff in bags, and then tossing those bags in bigger bags. A large suitcase flies open, and thrown inside are all the bags, clothes, shoes, bottles, binkies, diapers, and wipes. Everything’s stacked precariously, like in a blindfolded game of Jenga. 

I can see they need my help, so, using my ninja skills, I start scaling the barred walls of my crib to save the day.

Mom screams, “Nooooo!…stop! you’ll break your neck.” I don’t mean to be patronizing, but bless her heart, she can be quite the drama queen. Silly mom, everyone knows, cats always land on their feet.

Mom now has her undivided attention on me, leaving the impossible task of closing the suitcase to dad — who never met a challenge he didn’t accept. 

“Time to get you dressed little girl…we’re going to visit grandmama and grandpapa,” she said, smiling as she scooped me up and headed for the changing table.

I’m thrilled with the thought of practicing my new found superpower; ‘extreme cuteness’, on the grandparents. It’s almost too easy. When I smile, they start cheering, and their cameras appear out of thin air…and if I giggle…whoa!…it’s party time; chicken nuggies and juice, fun and games, and unlimited story time 24/7.

I glance over at the bed and see a blur. Dad’s bouncing up and down on the lid of the suitcase like a crazed kangaroo — clothes, bags, bottles and baby powder are flying everywhere.

While mom buckles me into the car seat, dad comes out of the house carrying seven plastic sacks full of stuff, mumbling something about cheap latches on a broken suitcase.

Mom tells dad that we might as well make a day of it and visit all the grandparents.

Wow!…Score!…it’s baby Shangri-la!—and that’s when I metaphorically wet myself.