kids

“All across America, voter turnout is at historic lows. I’m talking, staggering lows. Establishment candidates have managed to alienate almost every voter, across every gender and ethnicity… even white voters — a 35% turnout, it’s unbelievable! Back to you David.”

“OK—very illuminating, thank you, Melissa. Here’s a side note to today’s election coverage. A fifth grade class from Wapakoneta, Ohio created a viral firestorm by nominating their teacher, Patricia Garcia, a single mother of two as a write-in candidate for President.” Their social experiment blew up on Twitter and Facebook over the last couple of days and the public at large has responded favorably…excuse me…

I’ve just been handed some Breaking News—ok—It seems, with 75% of all precincts reporting, Patricia Garcia, a six-time-teacher-of-the-year is currently pulling ahead of both establishment party candidates with 52% of the vote…Now that’s what I call some good, *bleep* *bleep* change you can believe in!”