cat_baby

Season 1 • Episode 4 • Meet the Grandparents

A Catbaby special report…After an hour of me singing ‘Are we there yet’, we arrive at grandmama and grandpapa’s house…or, what I like to think of as my personal Amusement Park…aka, ‘GrandyLand’

Before dad can shut the Prius off, grandpapa flies out the front door, having hip-checked the slower grandmama, and bolts straight for the car. With laser focus, he ignores everyone, including mom, his only child, and of course dad who stole his only child. He unlatches me from the car seat, pulls me out with a twirl and tosses me into the air yelling ‘weeeeeeeeeeeee…yipeeeeeeeeeee!’

It’s true, Catbaby can fly!…Let the games begin.

Once inside grandmama unveils a plate of something she calls biscuits. Mom and dad gasp, immediately pulling me back, and covering my mouth. They say no thank you, and something about me being their only child.

Grandmama said, “Don’t be silly, these aren’t like the ones I made before.”…she’s referring to the ‘Incident’…which refers to the first time she made biscuits from scratch… The legend goes…

‘Grandmama was stacking her fresh baked biscuits on a plate, when one slipped out of her hand, dropped, splintering the kitchen floor with a ka-craaaaack, and rolled over next to her dog, Maggie.

After a few sniffs, licks, bites and a couple cracked canines later, Maggie finally found something, she literally couldn’t eat…’

…but that was then…these biscuits, grandmama said, were actually bought at the grocery store and were more like a cookie…everyone breathed a sigh of relief…and they were indeed, very tasty.

I was all hopped up on sugary biscuits so I decided to ride on the combination octopus/scrambler/roller coaster, known as grandpapa.

Midway through the scrambler, I unwittingly discovered my third superpower to go with my ‘Extreme cuteness’ and ‘Supersonic distress cry’.

It’s my first weaponized superpower…’Projectile vomitting’ and it can really clear a room. I hope I don’t have to use it much, because…It takes a lot out of me…heh, heh, and there it is — my fourth superpower, ‘Disarming Sense of humor’.

Until next time… Catbaby:)